Transform Your Scaredy-Cat into a Snuggle-Buddy

We’ve all known them—the terrified strays or shelter cats who enter your home and immediately vanish under the nearest piece of furniture, not emerging for days… or weeks.

Every day, you crawl toward your Boo, cooing gently, sliding her food and water bowls forward like offerings to a reclusive deity. If you’re lucky, they’re met by a curious nose. If not—a hiss and a ninja-fast swipe. Day after day.

“She’ll come out eventually; just give her time,” cat lovers say. But you wonder – isn’t there some way to speed this up?

You’re right – there is! I use a method adapted from animal communication and energy healing. No special training required—just patience, practice, and focus.

Here’s the key: Cats respond to images, emotion, energy, and intention. To reduce their fear and earn trust, use these tools to communicate love, gently and consistently, over time.

Building Connection

First, sit near Boo’s hiding place. Take some deep breaths to relax and release expectations. Focus on feeling your love for your cat. Picture that love as a warm fire glowing in your chest.

Now imagine it overflowing, down your arms and into your hands. Bring your palms together and feel the warmth growing between them. You’re ready!

Sit by Boo’s hideaway, where she can see you, but don’t invade her space. With your palms facing her, send the warmth from your heart toward her, imagining your hands stroking her fur. Talk softly to her and blink slowly—this is feline love-language. 

Boo might glance your way or ignore you entirely. Either is fine—this is about connection, not instant results! When she walks away, it’s her signal that she’s had enough.

Building Trust

Repeat these short sessions at the same times daily – the more consistent you are, the faster you’ll see progress. As Boo starts relaxing in your presence, move your hands gradually closer to her while sending energy, until she is close enough to sniff your fingers.

 

Once she’s comfortable, gently brush her whiskers or rub her cheeks, flowing love through your hands. Gradually extend petting until Boo allows full-body strokes. If she shows fear or irritation, back off—consent is Rule #1!

Building Expectation

Every day at mealtime sessions, offer treats or food in your hand while flowing love and speaking softly. Boo will begin to expect you and come out to meet you, associating your hands with food and comfort. As she eats, snuggle closer, letting her feel your presence.

When she’s relaxed, gently shift her into your lap. Stroke her fur, offer treats, and enjoy the closeness! Practice this daily until Boo feels at ease.

The Big Moment: Liftoff!

Once she’s comfortable in your lap, gently lift her front paws to your shoulder. Support her bottom and hold her close. Over time, as her trust grows, you’ll be able to stand while holding her.

Congratulations! You’ve transformed your scaredy-cat into a snuggle-buddy—with love, patience, and persistence!

Keep the Holidays Happy for Kitty

(with thanks to Pawprints, Howls, & Purrs for inspiration and information)

While we're all doing our feasting and reveling in the holiday cheer, we can make it a great occasion for Kitty as well....or it can be a time of deadly dangers. Before you start firing up the stove, unbagging the goodies, or decorating the house, take a look at these precautions and keep Kitty happy and bright in the season of light!

Food and Drink

• It may seem cute if Kitty laps at your eggnog or other alcoholic drinks - but the effects are toxic and potentially deadly. Ditto with cookies (chocolate again!), fruitcake, plum pudding, and other holiday treats. If you want to offer special treats, make sure they're designed for cats.

• Keep shiny wrapped candies - especially chocolate - out of reach. The wrapping can cut a cat's digestive tract if it is swallowed, and the chocolate itself is poisonous to cats.

• When the kitchen is going at full tilt, with delectable smells coming from every burner, any self-respecting cat is going to come and check it out…and get underfoot. Close the kitchen door if you can, or keep Kitty in another room away from hot liquids and heavy pans.

Decorations

• Don't leave lit candles burning unattended - this is such an obvious point, but those dancing flames in a darkened room are just sooo attractive! Protect your pet from serious burns and your house from a devastating fire by keeping Kitty and candles strictly separated.

• Ever seen a cat and a tree? They go together like...well, firefighters and ladders. To keep your tree vertical, run a cord around its midpoint from two bolts in the wall (if you can). Keep the tree undecorated for several days before you start hanging ornaments, so Kitty has a chance to get acquainted with it.

• All those gorgeous glass ornaments - hate to say this, but it's time to give a whole new meaning to "upwardly mobile." Keep the fragile, glistening, breakable things at the top of the tree, out of Kitty's sight and reach, or else hang them as suncatchers in the upper panes of your windows. Fill up the empty space with unbreakable ornaments of wood, resin, or metal on the lower branches. Shards on the floor, wounded kitty feet, or (worse) internal bleeding, can turn a holiday into a nightmare.

• Metal ornament hooks are irresistible toys – and can cut a cat’s mouth nastily if caught. Instead, use fabric ribbon or bias tape (not curling or Mylar ribbon), binders’ twine or thick raffia to slip easily over the branches of the tree.

• If your twinkly-light collection adds up to spaghetti behind the tree, tame the chaos with a cord catcher (or make one out of a piece of PVC pipe, with a slit down the side for easy threading). Cords can be as tempting as the strings that Kitty loves to chase!

• Be especially careful of bubbling lights - they use methylene chloride, which can be lethally toxic.

• A white Christmas is a beautiful thing, but when you start recreating it indoors with chemical substitutes, you put Kitty at risk. Angelhair or spun glass can irritate Kitty’s eyes, skin and gastrointestinal tract. Artifical snow and snow flock is toxic if ingested. Tinsel isn't toxic, but it can choke your cat or obstruct the intestines, so it’s equally dangerous.

• Those beautiful fireplace colors that you love to watch on a cold evening? If you’re using fire salts, keep Kitty well away from them – they can cause gastrointestinal irritation with vomiting and other symptoms, including convulsions.

• A number of Christmas season plants are poisonous to cats if nibbled or eaten. For a complete listing of toxic plants, click here and for a listing of non-toxic plants, click here. If you must have toxic plants, put them up high and make sure that Kitty can’t reach them by jumping!

Gifts and Giftwrap

• Kitty isn’t a gift (or shouldn’t be – see the next section for the reasons why!)…so don’t dress her up with a neck ribbon for the holidays. The ribbon can be accidentally tightened and cause choking or strangulation, or worse, get caught on an object in mid-romp and break your pet’s neck

• Ribbons and bows aren’t good for Kitty to chew, either – they can cause deadly obstructions or cut the digestive tract with their sharp edges. Tell Santa to leave the fancy stuff off the boxes under the tree on Christmas Eve - they'll stack better that way, anyway!

General Safety and Health

• You may love New Year’s fireworks, but they can be scary and dangerous to pets – both the noise and the explosives (if you’re setting off your own). Keep your pets indoors during the display – it’s safer and less nervewracking for them and for you!

• Choosing a pet is a deeply personal lifetime commitment that involves connection between the adopter and adoptee, and a delicate period of getting acquainted. Even if you know a loved one wants an animal, do not choose one for him or her as a holiday gift…for a number of reasons. Not only do you not know whether the pet will bond well with your loved one, but being uprooted from one environment and transplanted to another can be very traumatic, especially to an older pet. Now imagine this trauma compounded by the noise and excitement of an average holiday! Where the new family member needs a quiet place to adjust, there is likely to be uproar, loud voices, and confusion…a recipe for terror! Instead, set your loved one up with pet food, supplies and accessories. Then, after the holidays are over, your loved one can select and bond with the perfect pet in a quiet environment.

It's Kitten Season!

This is a public service announcement...

During Feburary through March and May through June, every rescue organization and shelter braces for "Kitten Season" and an overwhelm of adorable bundles of fur.

Because of this overwhelm, many shelters can only keep the kittens for a very few days before putting them to sleep. So, at this time of year, taking feral cats or kittens to a shelter can be a virtual certain death sentence. Dedicated foster caregivers are worth their weight in gold.

It's particularly tough for adult feral cats who have not been hand-trained...in most cases, they are considered "unadoptable" and put to sleep immediately because there simply aren't the resources to hold them safely, much less domesticate them!

Are there alternatives? Yes.

If you have been adopted by a momma cat and her babies, and you want a no-kill solution - or if you've fallen in love with them and want to care for them yourself (you wonderful person!)- check this great Squidoo resource lens for a wealth of advice and resources:

How To Save Feral Cats and Stop Overpopulation With TNR

The author, Frankie Kangas, is a good friend and a veteran foster caregiver with years of experience in trapping and caring for feral cats. She's an expert resource worth checking out!
For two great FAQs on helping feral cats in your area, see The Humane Society of the US or (for in-depth info) Alleycat Allies
For Feral Cat events in your area, check out the Alleycat Allies calendar.
For advice on protecting your feral colony against a disaster, see http://www.alleycat.org/DisasterTips

New Address, Same Mission!

Welcome! This is All Relations Reiki's unabashedly ailurophilic e-commerce arm, offering solutions for your cat behavior problems from cat doctors, cat rescuers and fosterers, animal behaviorists and animal communicators.

I'll be doing exclusive interviews with these experts, and combing the Web for the best snippets of advice from the most authoritative sources....and adding a few tips from my own years of cat-herding along the way.

Why am I doing this? Pretty simple, really. My cat-loving friends and I have seen far too many wonderful cats abandoned to shelters -- or worse, left out in the wild to fend for themselves -- because their caregivers didn't know where to turn for answers to their cat behavior problems. What can I do in helping to prevent this? Well - I can start by gathering all the resources and references I can find to give better alternatives!

So - welcome! Please don't hesitate to add your comments, insights, experiences, thoughts and suggestions!

Phila